I was a stay at home dad from 1992-2012. For all intents and purposes, twenty years a single parent. Tried my very hardest to raise three children in the midst of chronic, raging, abusive alcoholism. Five years ago she hit bottom and I ran out of hope.
Silver lining is I found myself.
My son Miles Lindgren turns 25 today. I love him. And haven’t seen him in exactly five years.
I’ve lost countless nights sleep thinking about him, and my two daughters. How I should have taken them out of the terrible situation. Now back with their mom- I’ve always been told the kids go with the money, all three now refuse to see me. These are the demons that keep me awake at night.
But I was young once too. I hated my own mom for her alcoholism, the beatings, the shame.
Hated my dad for putting up with her.
But I changed. I grew up and realized that there are always two sides to every story and if you only hear one you are missing the whole. I saw that there are people that had it much, much worse than I did. Realized that my mom, given her upbringing, did as best she could. And I forgave her.
Miles, I still have hope for you, for us.
I did the best I could.
You’re a man now Miles and I miss the hell out of you.