I’m not going to whine any more. I can’t run, I don’t know for how long, and I’ve accepted that. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I’m doing something to keep fit.
No moss. On a rolling stone. 22 miles on the bike Sunday, 8 Monday, 30 Tuesday, 25 today. It isn’t the same as running but if I push hard enough I can wear myself out. Once the pool re-opens at Lakeside I’ll be swimming too.
It occurred to me on this morning’s ride that I can’t do this for Fun either. I’ve got to get to the point of discomfort quickly and then ease into sustainable pain. And then spike that pain repeatedly until utter fatigue sets in, wondering how I will be able to make it all the way back home. The same when I’m in the water. Last time it was 42 laps before I could go no further. Next time I’ll not be satisfied unless I hit 50.
I was having a beer with a friend the other night. His wife is a runner too, (has completed a marathon, which satisfies most contemporary runner’s definitions of a Real Runner) and is also injured. Has been several weeks since she’s been able to run. She made a comment that let me know just how different I am than almost everyone in the running community.
“It isn’t like its a matter of life or death”.
To me, not running is darned close to a lunch date with the Grim Reaper. Running is my life and when I can’t do it, a part of me dies. Not a permanent death because I know I’ll be back, Lazarus, appropriately in the Brooks Ghost. But the sense of Really Living that running brings to me, that is missing now. Yes, yes, I have my kids, I have my passions, I have my wonder and appreciation for life in all its glories. But…… something is missing to be sure, something that only pushing myself as no other ever possibly could, can bring. Answering to me alone. Not a spouse, not a child, not a boss, not The Man, however you want to define it. Those moments that transcend fun that apparently so few these days ever experience.
You can say you do it for fun, that your not competitive, that it really is just running after all and no one should take it That Seriously. I respect that for You. But not for me. And if you want to shape your opinions based on how much running means in My Life, all well and good, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
How about that Leo Manzano! America’s first 1500 meter Olympic Medal since Jim Ryun’s Silver back in 1968. Leo used a furious charge down the back straight to duplicate Ryun’s haul.
Giddyup! Lopez Lomong, Galen Rupp, and Bernard Lagat all advanced in today’s Mens 5000 Meter heats.
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