Hurry hurry hurry. Action, action, action. Think of it, do it, think of something else, do it, think, do, think, do, think, do.
This is what has been revealed to me gazing into the firebox of my wood burning stove. The flames showing me one of life’s most important lessons. A lesson I refused from man. One that could have stood me well over the last 50+ years. Damned ADHD, mostly the AD part.
What I’ve learned from the embers is that it is ok to smolder. That the heat from coals, while not showy, provide more consistent heat and comfort than the gaudy, all consuming fires.
A tale and parallel coming of course.
When I arrived, Nebraska was in a USATF/LDR black hole. Misunderstood, feared, intimidating and largely unwanted. USATF that is. And maybe me too. Adorned and provided my summer’s flaggons at Zorinsky a decade ago as first introduction to the masses. Kool Aid it was called. I knew I was in for a fight.
Waving my banner all over the place. My glaring beacon of USATF, its message too bright for many. Because I didn’t have the patience or subtlety to finesse. And I wouldn’t wear out my knees, bowing before no man. Insisiting on the One True Way, as I see it. Now.
Torched a lot of landscape. Some collateral damage. May have been avoidable if I’d had a sense of perseverence instead of immediate reward. But maybe not. There were (and yes Cole, still are) forces that though now deemed feeble, fading, or no longer of consequence – bulwarks against progress they were- required incendiary flagellation at the time. A Brilliant Sense of Urgency to launch a program. That we now all enjoy. Despite the odds and oddballs.
And I sit here now, unexcitedly, pondering USATF, specifically its election processes. How those votes can be finagled, how members can be hornswoggled. Puppetry by Charm, Hook or Crook. Damn it.
Embers aglow inside that would have previously ignited into fire balls, now simply toasting philosophically. Waiting. Bobby Fisher contemplating his next move.
Yesterday’s rare blue skies and warm temps enabled me to get some bonus December gardening done. I ended up moving over 1000 pounds of horse shit via shovel, wagon, and back. Shrewdly, slowly, quietly planning each move for next spring and summer.
And in the end, I just want to do good work, have people look up to me as a teacher, motivator, advocate, coach, and maybe just maybe, friend. Nothing but Hubris up my sleeves!
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